Oh boy, oh boy.
You'll never believe what's happened in the past two months of my life.  Late June I got a boyfriend, Dewayne, and three days later he broke up with me.  Two days later he had a new girlfriend who was skinnier, prettier, and skankier than I could ever be.   Asshole.   Fucked me up in the head really bad too.   Oh, I started back to school a Junior.  Got a class with Bri-Bri, a few with more friends, and I got my cooking class, which I seem  to be one of the best in next to Ryan.   There's a new guy, Darrell, he's cute but I have a little bit of a hard time believing he even likes me.   Spoke to me a few times but we've never carried a real conversation.  Maybe if I actually liked myself a little more I could be more comfortable around people, but hoorah for Richard D. Moore.  He made it where I can never like myself again or try another guy!  Great job.
Go get drowned.


=)

I've been late on my curfew quite a few times lately, but I haven't gotten in trouble.  But still. I'm excited, Halloween is coming up and I'm going to be a Lady in Waiting for my Evil Queen Anna!  Either than or a raunchy Little Red Riding Hood.   I still can't decide! WAAAAAH!

Hmm...
I wish someone would talk to me so I didn't think I was just posting this for nothing.

So...things haven't been just so great since the last time I updated.  OOoh! Cold.  That's basically been all I have been doing, being cold and sleeping.  I downloaded a lot of new songs the other night after i found a shit load of ringtones. Now I'm listening to one of those songs, some reason I have a big thing for Cyndi Lauper.  Always have, especially the song she did for The Goonies.   That has got to be one of my absolute favorite movies every made. Next to Cry-Baby, which has the worst acting I've ever seen. But I love it, why? Oh I'm not really sure.  No, it's not because it has Johnny Depp.  That was the reason I watched it in the first place, but now I just watch it over and over whenever I can because I love it.  Weird kid, don't have to tell me.

But yeah...I can't seem to do anything right apparently.  Because when 'Dewayne' gets online he won't talk to me ( messages over facebook ) and Chris hasn't spoke to me ever since he got Kelly as his girlfriend.  Oh well, I'm not a relationship ruining skank anymore. They'll get over it.  But whoo! Such a weird dream last night, witch just about everyone I know in it ( like from WP & C-town )

I want to be somewhere else, were I can just relax. I have no clue what's going on tonight...we may be going to friendship cemetery, we may not.  It's the full moon so I have no clue.  That's when we're supposed to go, but the lunar schedule told me Saturday.  Ughhhh, I don't know.   Oh well. 

I'm just happy that someone is keeping their promise to me.  Makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Alright, so we all have those dreams that seem so real or something right? I have those a lot...and last night I had one that really really made me smile.  Alright to set it all, you have to understand something about me.  About a year or so ago I met this boy online, his name was Callum and he was so rude to me. He picked on me about everything, he actually made it so I stopped writing in my own accent (I'm from mississippi so sometimes I write ain't and ya'll.)  But by the end of he became just really sweet.  We did the whole online dating thing, it obviously didn't work, and I went out with a friend of mine.

Well, in the fourth month of my relationship with Jonathon, Cal and I started talking again and I realized I still loved him.  Well, I broke up with Jonathon ( not for Cal ) and I've been single ever since.  Around last Christmas was the first time Callum asked me to marry him.  I was still fifteen years old, he's two years older than me.  Age doesn't matter to me, but see, he's had more experience in the world and has had more of a dating life.   I told him how much I loved him but that I just wasn't ready.  He quit talking to me for a few days then came back, he'd tried to kill himself. It scared me so bad I started to cry.  He's been apologizing ever since and telling me what he wants our life to be like.  And all of this time, he's had a girlfriend.  Not all of the time really, but around November he got a girlfriend and we were still talking, she didn't like it one bit.  She hated me and though that I was trying to steal Callum away from her.  Maybe it was the marriage proposal that did it. I don't know. But we, well he, already has our first little girl's name planned when we get married.  Rogue. 

He's always called me his Rogue.  And when I dropped the name he said it was fine that we could name our little girl Rogue.  Sweet huh?

Well...last night I was asleep.  Duh.  And in my dream me and this little girl were spinning around.  Just one big circle, you know when you're big brother or dad used to hold your hands and you'd fly for a little bit? That's what we were doing.  She was so pretty.  One green eye, one blue, long wavy brown hair, and she was wearing this pretty little white dress. And when we stopped spinning it was like I fell over and she laid next to me, or on me w/e, and called me mommy.  I don't know if it's a vision of the future, or something I needed to see.

 I just wish I was able to tell Callum about it.  But he signed off MSN so quickly I wasn't able to. He's sometimes able to help me. If he'd had even the slightest type of dream I did it'd help me decide what kind it is.  If anyone reads this, I'd love some sort of feedback.  It's probably stupid of me to dream of a future like this when I'm just a junior in high school. But I can't help it.  I think I'm really in love with that boy. 

Well, if anyone knows me and where I live you'll all know what it's like in this town.  People live, they lie, they cry, and then more than likely overdose on meth or something.  But what seriously gets me are the back stabbers. The people that will get in your face and be as sweet as possible, then go to someone else that you thought was your friend and just kill your entire friendship.  How can they do that?

Yeah, it's happened to me quite a few times, and I don't really care if it happens to me. It just really gets under my skin when its done to another one of my friends. Especially when I'm the one that the person come to talk bad about that person.

Now don't get me wrong, I have been this person a few times. But I've stopped. Now I'll talk to you about it to your face or through a text message, myspace, AIM, or even msn.

But...yeah. For a first post in this journal I though I'd complain.  Sue me.